Translating Palin’s Statement On Obama’s Gaffe
“I was shocked to learn of the comment made by President Obama about Special Olympics…”
By shocked, I mean “totally psyched.” This is so in my wheelhouse—both personal experience with disabled people and saying stupid things on TV
“…This was a degrading remark about our world’s most precious and unique people…”
I know that sounds wildly condescending, but it’s not. I don’t even know what that word means. People who aren’t disabled? Not really that unique. Or precious. Bomb, bomb Iran!
“…coming from the most powerful position in the world…”
Which I am not in any way gunning for by capitalizing on every thing that dude says or does. Refusing stimulus money? It’s called principles, people, not opportunism. I don’t know what that words means anyway, either. Furthermore. Insofar.
“…These athletes overcome more challenges, discrimination and adversity than most of us ever will…”
Here’s where I say something no one on earth can disagree with. It sounds compassionate, but I’m really just using retards to criticize a political rival. But it’s cool—my kid’s a retard too!
“…By the way, these athletes can outperform many of us and we should be proud of them…”
Again, compassionate statement followed by…
“…I hope President Obama’s comments do not reflect how he truly feels about the special needs community.”
…cheap political point. Zing! Of course, you have to know that by “hope…not,” I mean “don’t honestly believe but will feel free to imply because that’s how I roll.” Anyway, to summarize, Obama hates the disabled, loves abortion, Levi’s an asshole, doesn’t my butt look good in these jeans? Palin 2012, ya’ll!
